As I laid my beaten head down on my pillow, I groaned, “I feel incapable.” As soon as the word incapable came out of my mouth, I knew I was right where God wants me to be, and I slipped into sweet sleep. It was no mistake that Romans 4 had been in my Bible study twice that week: “If you're a hard worker and do a good job, you deserve your pay; we don't call your wages a gift. But if you see that the job is too big for you, that it's something only God can do, and you trust Him to do it—you could never do it for yourself no matter how hard and long you worked—well, that trusting-Him-to-do-it is what gets you set right with God, by God. Sheer gift.” (Romans 4:4-5 MSG)

I tried to think of easy conversation to break the tension. She and I both were on the verge of retching. Will her name be on the list? Will she belong? Hannah had worked all summer on her volleyball skills. Two months ago, we had only slept in our brand-new, still-empty home two days before Hannah bravely accepted an emailed invitation to play volleyball with a slew of girls she didn’t know. My eyes grew wide when she agreed to go.

Have you ever been the one who’s been left behind, watching people you love move on to an exciting new adventure, seeing the hole that they’ll leave? How could God use you in that place? I was getting Sunday school lessons ready for the kids during our chapel services in Guantanamo Bay, and one of the lessons coming up was about Elijah being carried off in the whirlwind.

Have you ever had this humungous vision so far beyond yourself it seemed silly to take even the first step toward it? Have you gotten as far as dipping your toes in the water and they began to part, so you knew you must keep walking because “this just might be God?” I’m there. Right now. In the midst of the sea.